


To be Tamed (One runs the risk of crying)

by Yukitsune



Series: The Most Beautiful Things in the World [2]
Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Literary Quotes, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 11:41:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19829446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yukitsune/pseuds/Yukitsune
Summary: It's been 3 months since Dia accepted her new position as the Student Council President. The role comes with additional responsibilities, like ensuring that none of the students disappear (or die) on their way home, and handling club administration and requests for more funding. In short, she has her hands full, even without Mari's extracurricular mission to find a certain medical examiner who could lead them to the answers behind the event that changed their lives. Yet, friends don't let friends plot alone, or at least that's the excuse Dia's leading with.





	To be Tamed (One runs the risk of crying)

“Tell me who admires and loves you, and I will tell you who you are.”  
The Little Prince

~~

“Dia... Dia!” At the sound of her best friend’s voice, she forced her eyes open. The voice was softer than a whisper, but it was clearly Kanan. Dia abruptly sat up, slightly startled, and glanced around her room. She didn't bother checking the time. She knew by the moonlight streaming in from the window, that the sun would not be coming up for quite a few hours. 

“Kanan-san?” She called out tentatively. The words came out in a rush, like her breath, barely understandable even to her own ears. Unsurprisingly, there was no response. She waited for a few seconds before a quiet knock came through from the wall beside her futon, making her jump. She mentally scolded herself for not considering how light of a sleeper her sister was. Ruby had enough trouble waking up as it was. 

“Onee-chan? It’s me. I heard you scream. Are you okay?” She heard the sleepy voice of her sister, muffled by the wall separating them. “Did you have a bad dream?” 

“No, I’m alright Ruby. Thank you for your concern.” 

“I can come over and make you some tea. Just give me a few minutes.” 

“No, it’s still early. The alarm won’t ring for a few hours. Go back to sleep Ruby, I’ll see you at breakfast in the morning.” Her voice grew stronger with every sentence. Putting on her older sister mode, Dia tried her best to sound steadier than she actually felt. There was a short period of silence, where Dia could almost see the effort her sister took to consider her options, before Ruby relented. She almost sighed in relief.

“Okay... Sleep well, Onee-chan. I’m here if you need me.” Ruby replied. She heard a yawn coming through the wall before there was a shuffle of fabric and the room was silent again. Dia smiled. Her sister was too sweet for her own good, much like her soul. Despite growing older, Ruby’s pure soul still reminded Dia of cotton candy and rabbits, much like her soft and kind personality. 

She laid her head on the pillow and stared at the ceiling. It was going to be another one of those nights. She probably wasn’t going to get any more sleep. Hence, she switched her phone on and flipped through her messages. 

She had deleted Kanan’s contact number a while after the funeral. She had been told that it would help her move on with her life. It had taken months of texting or dialing her number by accident before she decided to delete it. However, she couldn’t bring herself to delete the messages and conversations from years ago. Those chats were buried under new conversations and notifications, but technology was a blessing as well as a curse. All it took was a simple word search and one of Kanan’s messages would appear in her suggestion list. If she scrolled down far enough, she would still be able to find their last conversation, along with Kanan’s profile picture. It was a picture of the Uchiura beach, the blue ocean shimmering in the background. Ironic, Dia thought, that her display picture was probably the last thing she saw as well. 

Against her own judgment, she opened the conversation. She blamed technology for saving the timestamp of the last messages that were sent to one another. The last message from Kanan was sent the day before the incident. No; that was a lie. Her last message was sent exactly 6 hours before she officially disappeared, and 12 hours before her body was found. 

Their last conversation happened the night before everything went to hell. They had been discussing school work, and Dia had been lecturing Kanan about prioritising her studies before thinking of her nightly swim. The other girl had jokingly asked if she could sit next to Dia for the finals, which made her scoff and roll over to put her phone by her futon. She already knew that as finals grew closer, Mari and she would end up taking turns to tutor the less academically inclined of the three. It had become a routine for them despite her chiding, because like it or not, she would never wish for her friend to fail her examinations. Kanan knew that. Hence, it became a regular occurrence for her to answer questions from the other girl regarding mathematical equations at night, while getting ready for bed. She usually waited for the other girl to give up and go to bed. This time, however, she fell asleep before she felt the next vibration.

Her finger hovered over one of the messages before she thought better of it and closed the application. She told herself that it was her way of preserving their memories, but she knew that it was only half true. The other half was that she couldn't bear to admit that their last proper conversation ended with her directing Kanan to finish her homework before swimming, which was exactly what she had done. 

It was common knowledge that the first deadly sin of memory was transience. Put simply, the moment a person remembered something, they started to forget it. It was just a question of how long it would take for them to forget something in its entirety. In most cases, a lack of association to existing knowledge would cause a breakdown in memory retrieval. Thus, even though the knowledge existed, the severed link would mean that it was as good as forgotten. Short term memories slipped out in waves. They were like water dripping off one’s hand; they always disappeared before they could leave invisible traces to follow. Long term memories were like salt water marks that crystallised and dried up eventually, but there would always be some form of evidence that they existed. However, the real tragedy was that recalling memories mostly served to alter them because people chose selective memories to remember. Thus, Dia decided to keep her mind busy with other things. 

~~

Three months was a relatively short period of time for most people. The earth would have made 91 rotations and completed 25% of its orbit around the sun. In the grand scheme of things, three month passed in less than a blink and was no more important than a speck of dust. However, for Dia, each day felt like a new trial to endure.

It wasn’t because she had won the election for the student council. Even without Mari’s support, she didn’t really have much competition to begin with. She had settled into the position relatively quickly. Apart from the weekly meetings with Mari which had become mandatory, she hadn’t really changed much of her routine. She still had to make sure that students didn’t linger too long in school after sunset, do routine checks on the power generators to ensure that the shadows didn't take anyone else and keep up with her studies. In addition, the extra responsibilities and matters she had to attend to were nothing that she wasn’t already used to doing. She had never been lazy; she had just preferred to spend her time elsewhere. 

However, following Mari’s incident on Awashima, she had been grateful for the increased responsibilities. Being more involved in school and club management kept her busy, and it distracted her from remembering that she no longer had a reason to run to beach or hang out alone by the park. The difficult instances were when something happened and she wanted to tell someone, but the first person that came to mind wasn’t around anymore. 

She briefly wondered whether repeating the events after the funeral would induce Kanan into showing up again. However, she never found the nerve to carry it through. It was partly because she was afraid of knowing the answer, but also because she didn’t want to risk the consequence of losing one of their precious memories. Instead, she spent more time in the student council room and the director’s office during school days. As a director, the blonde was handling administrative matters rather well for someone who had been gone for so long. Thankfully, Dia found that although they had vastly different personalities, their working styles complemented one another. 

As for their friendship, everything and nothing had changed between them. She wasn’t sure when it started, but Mari’s soul had become more warm and stable instead of the wild and fluctuating emotions that she used to have. She still had material desires and made selfish decisions, but for some reason, they didn’t affect the shape that her soul took anymore. Instead, she looked as if the stars themselves had fallen from heaven and taken up residence around her. She sometimes saw glimpses of blue seas and green pastures but for the most part, Mari seemed to have figured out her direction. It was progress, at least. 

“Dia!!!! Good morning!” Dia had barely counted to three in her mind before the blonde had reached her side and given her a hug. The same scenario had occurred on enough occasions such that the other students in their class barely turned their heads at their interactions. Dia, herself, found that she didn’t mind it as much as before. This was her new normal. Sometimes, she even considered hugging her back. 

“Good morning, Mari-san.” Dia greeted her politely. 

“You didn’t forget about our date after school, right?” 

“If you mean our weekly mandatory board meetings, then no, I haven’t forgotten.” Dia replied, as she made her way to her desk. It was no secret that Mari had been rather persistent over the past few weeks. Rather than going out with her schoolmates, she had taken every opportunity to spend time with the new student body president. Part of her could tell that Mari was genuinely trying to repair their relationship, but she didn’t really know how to respond. It had always been like that between the two of them; the inability to connect due to vastly different approaches. She had once told Kanan as well, that if she had not been around, she would have not considered interacting with Mari. To which, Kanan being Kanan, simply gave her a nudge and assured her that she was certain that they would have somehow ended up talking, one way or another. 

“You really filtered out all the romance, didn’t you? I didn’t even get the chance to ask you out yet.” Mari chuckled. Her voice stirred the other girl out of her memories and into reality once more. Dia knew she was teasing her, but she could never really draw the line between a joke and Mari’s true feelings when the boisterous girl made comments like that. She just wanted a sense of normalcy, or rather, a chance for her to find a new normal. It was less tiring to ignore Mari’s blatantly suggestive remarks and stick to her logical concepts. It didn't stop the blonde from trying though. “Oh well, despite how quickly our relationship has progressed, I look forward to seeing you in my room later!” 

That sentence turned heads. Dia was mortified. So much for starting off the week normally. 

“Mari-san! You’re giving people the wrong idea. There’s nothing romantic about it!” Ignoring her outburst, the other girl winked as she walked in strides back to her seat. Despite the teacher entering the classroom, Mari added a sway in her steps, just to rile her up. It worked. Sulking to herself, Dia grumbled out loud. “Saying such things in public, that girl is truly impossible.” 

“Kurosawa-san, your face is red. Are you feeling well?” She jumped at her teacher calling her name. 

“Y-yes!” Dia spluttered out. There were a couple of giggles from Mari’s side of the classroom but they quietened when Dia shot them a fierce glare. She turned back to the front as the teacher started writing on the board. At times like this, she missed having her best friend around to complain to. 

That being said, she couldn’t exactly say that nothing positive had come out of the last few months. 

Since their conversation on the beach, she had to deal with a sometimes-welcome Chika, who popped by to invite her for a swim or to go out for meals during the weekend. She had also since been officially introduced to Riko, whose first reaction was to apologise for creating trouble during their first meeting. 

Yoshiko had surprised her with a gift soon after she had stepped into her official role. The first-year had been waiting outside her classroom after the ceremony, along with Ruby and Hanamaru. It was strange to see her without her black cloak and skull, but it was a refreshing change. Despite Dia telling her that it wasn’t necessary, she was insistent on her acceptance. She had given her a black feather which had been spelled with a protective charm, or so she claimed. Dia had given her a polite smile as she accepted the gift awkwardly. That was quickly followed by a hug from Ruby. She could almost hear the laughter in Kanan’s voice had she been there to see it. Kurosawa Dia, surrounded by a group of juniors. It was a miracle. 

~

The natural silence of the room was shattered when the wooden door creaked open. The lone occupant glanced toward the door in surprise. Students usually left the premises before sunset, even after the number of attacks had died down. She sensed the immediate flowery presence before the red head even peeked through the gap in the doorway. 

“Kurosawa-san, here are the club records you asked for.” 

“Thank you, Sakurauchi-san.” Schooling her expression into practiced nonchalance, Dia took hold of the folder nestled in the other girl’s hands. Since they started working together, she had grown a bit more used to sensing the other girl’s aura, but it still gave her a feeling of discordance. “This wasn’t an urgent matter though. You could have given it to me tomorrow if it was more convenient.” 

“Well, I was still in the art room when I received the message, so it wasn’t inconvenient.” 

“In any case, I appreciate your diligence with regard to your school council duties. However, you should always prioritise your duties as a student first.” 

“I was actually working on my term assignment.” Amidst the intertwined branches that seemed to coil around her form, Dia noticed that there was indeed blue speckles on her forearm. Her palms were clean. Knowing her, the conscientious girl most likely washed her hands before collecting the documents.

The padding of rapid footfalls stopped Riko from continuing. Soon enough, the wooden door let out a screech as it slid open forcefully. Dia winced internally and looked towards her counterpart, who had the decency to look embarrassed. 

“Hello Dia-san! Riko-chan, I’m here to tell you that your second layer of paint has finished drying! I checked the corners every five minutes, and then made my way to the centre.” 

It took less than a minute for her to notice the navy smudges that stained various portions of her hands. The colour of which, matched the specks on Riko’s arms. She wasn’t sure who started speaking first, but both of them had something to say to the intruder. 

“Chika-san, what did I say about running in the hallway?”

“Chika-chan! Did you touch my painting!?”

Both girls turned to one another for a second before Dia conceded. Even without the looming grey smoke that started to creep and coil around the pink Sakura branches, Dia knew that Riko probably had more reasons to commit murder that day than she did. Besides, her treasurer and acting secretary was technically off duty. Chika would have to defend herself. 

“If that’s all, Kurosawa-san, I’ll be going back to the art room to continue with my project. Do let me know if there’s anything more I can help you with!” 

“Thank you for your hard work. See you tomorrow, Sakurauchi-san.” Dia smiled, watching the light pink flowers darken into red as the other girl turned towards the orange haired girl. She quickly bid the other girl farewell too, as an afterthought. “Goodbye, Chika-san.” 

The pitiful door quivered as it slid shut once more. Although the walls were thin enough for her to hear Chika commenting that Riko should start calling her in a less formal manner since they were becoming friends. Dia glanced at the envelope that she had left on the table. Friends; she wasn’t sure if she could call them that. As far as she knew, Riko had only agreed to become her treasurer because the minimum requirement for a school council was that the president and treasurer roles to be filled. She had considered Chika at first, but the thought of the clumsy girl handling financial and administrative matters terrified her. She still appeared regularly to offer her assistance, which was something she was secretly grateful for.

Maybe they were at different stages of friendship, but it was nice to know that she had them in her life.

She also found that she enjoyed and took pride in her school council duties. It had been a few months since Mari had officially made the announcement and proclaimed her to be the new student council body president. Yet, she still took a while to adjust to the additional tag to her uniform sleeve. It was as if the strip of cloth collected the weight of every onlooker’s gaze as she walked past. It made her miss- 

No. She wasn’t supposed to think of her anymore. She wasn’t allowed to miss the extra time she had with her when she wasn’t supposed to have experienced them in the first place. It was one thing to be different. It was another, to be classified as delusional. Being sent to a psychiatrist was something she absolutely did not need, especially with her current position. This meant she had to get over and accept that her best friend was gone for good, which she did. On most days. 

She hadn’t gone to the beach ever since the day Kanan disappeared from her life. To that extent, she was grateful for having student council duties that kept her thoughts and schedule occupied. That being said, it wasn’t as if she had no intention of keeping her promise.

A vibration from her phone caused her to pause in her thoughts. She swiped the notification to view the message, but all it contained was a blank text box. Her gaze narrowed at the name of the sender. Only Ohara Mari would send her something as cryptic as this, and expect her to understand it. 

Frowning, Dia pushed herself up from the table and packed her things before leaving the council room. She found the sender of the mysterious text in her private office, as expected. The waning sunlight illuminated the outline of her chair and the elongated shadow that it cast. To an outsider, the chairwoman would seem intimidating and elusive, but to her childhood friend, she was simply Mari; also known to her as a complete nuisance. 

“What do you want, Mari-san? Isn’t our weekly meeting tomorrow?”

“Dia, must we always begin our conversations in this manner? How many times have I asked you to drop the honorifics in my name?”

“I’ve lost count, Mari-san.” She replied simply. It wasn’t abnormal for the chairwoman to beckon her into her office without a reason, but it had happened quite a few times that week. So, she had been hoping for a proper reason since she had work to do. 

In the silence that followed, the quieter girl took the opportunity to look at her friend. The blonde seemed more tired than usual, and Dia felt the ache that she had been pushing aside return with a vengeance. She hadn’t really been acting like a friend to her recently. She tried again, with a slightly softer tone. “Did you need something from me?”

“Well, it’s not exactly a thing, but I do need you- I mean, I want you-“ Evidently flustered, the other girl paused to rephrase her sentence while Dia stood there awkwardly. Mari had always been charming with her words and eloquent with her speech, so her recent change was baffling. Not long after agreeing to work together, the chairwoman had been acting decidedly more familiar with her. However, that also led to Dia witnessing differences in her aura. She had thought of asking, but felt that she did not deserve the privilege due to her recent behavior. “I wanted to ask whether you would maybe want to stay over this weekend?” 

“That’s it?” She fought the urge to roll her eyes. “You could have just asked me if I was free today, instead of sending me a blank text message which served no purpose.”

“It brought you here, didn't it?” The smug smirk reappeared onto the chairwoman’s face and Dia had no choice but to concede to that. “I’d say it served its purpose perfectly.”

The way Mari skipped over the implications of inviting her over was almost impermeable. If Dia hadn’t known better, she would have missed the way her purple aura faded slightly. Her words, and corresponding invitation, seemed to hang in mid-air. With it, she carried the emotions that went without saying. “It would be just like old times”, Mari’s eyes seemed to say. Yet, those words could never be articulated without giving rise to the feeling that they were betraying their best friend. It was the first time they would be having a sleepover since Kanan had passed away. 

“So, my house at 8 tomorrow? I’ll meet you at the dock.” Locking on to Mari’s hopeful and slightly insecure expression, Dia nodded, pointedly ignoring the growing ache in her chest. 

~~

“Dia...” She rolled over on her side, trying to ignore the noise. It’s just a dream, she reminded herself. 

“Dia, wake up!” The words were followed by a soft chuckle. She felt something shake her and she forced her eyes open. The sky was still dark but the pale moonlight had entered through the window, leaving everything but the futon next to her in the darkness. She was cast in the shadow of her friend as Kanan peered down at her. 

“Kanan-san?” Her voice came out in a rasp as she blinked the sleep from her eyes. The world was still a blur, but her focus was only on one person. “Why are you awake?” 

“Shhh! You’ll wake Mari up.” 

“Mmm, what is it?” Dia responded in a lower decibel, albeit a little grouchy from being woken up. Pushing herself to a sitting position, she rubbed her eyes carelessly and stretched her arms above her head. 

“Look, look! It’s a clear night! You can see the stars from your window.” The other girl raced back to her perch as she tiptoed to gaze out through the gap between the wooden walls. Kanan’s purple eyes were shining with excitement as she beckoned for Dia to join her at the window. Her hair was bunched up in a casual bun, but with the way the other girl was bobbing her head and gesturing excitedly, she could easily tell that it was about to come undone. Despite how tired she felt, Dia didn’t want to disappoint her friend. So, the quiet brunette obligingly crawled out of her futon and folded her blanket back into place. The cold sensation sent her into shivers but she forgot about it as soon as Kanan reached for her hand and pulled her towards the window. True enough, it looked like they were watching the galaxy unfold and unpack itself through a tiny hole in the universe. The stars were shining through the transient clouds such that the scene resembled glitter sprinkled on a stick of cotton candy that was unfurling into mist. 

“There are so many of them!” 

“Yeah.” She responded softly. The way Kanan seemed to be mesmerized by the sight of the twinkling stars gave Dia a quiet sense of distance. She was content to watch the other girl and it gave her a warm feeling to see the sparkles reflected in her eyes. It was different sort of excitement as compared to when Kanan talked about swimming; it was calmer, and instead of the passionate exclamations, she sounded more affectionate, as if this was something she wanted to cherish. It made Dia wish she could share the same thoughts and emotions that were going through her mind. To her, the stars and the night sky were beautiful, but they meant something different to her. Perhaps she had grown used to the natural sight from her window, such that she thought of it as simply a part of her environment. She briefly considered whether Mari would be just as enamoured as Kanan was, but the thought didn't linger. 

“It makes me want to jump into the ocean right now, because I would be swimming with the stars.” 

“You say strange things sometimes, Kanan-san.” Dia replied. Her friend shot her an unapologetic smile which she couldn’t help but return. 

Suddenly, a gust of wind blew through the open window. The two girls shivered at the same time before giggling together. 

“Noisy...” The sleepy groan came from Mari’s futon, which was on the other side of the room. Kanan and Dia snickered, before shushing one another. They sat together, huddled close as they leaned against the wall, and waited. The other girl didn’t stir. Mari mumbled a few more incoherent sentences before rolling over to face the wall. Kanan’s satisfied expression looked as though she was ready to spill a delicate secret. 

“Dia, do you think the stars are happy?”

“Stars are pieces of rock, burning up in the atmosphere, Kanan-san. They don’t have feelings.” 

“Of course they do. It’s just like how the ocean has feelings too. It becomes dark and stormy when it’s upset, clear and still when it’s melancholy, and it sparkles in blue and green when it’s content and tame.” 

“Tame? How would you know that?” She asked incredulously. “You can’t tame an ocean. It’s impossible.” 

“Well, whenever I swim in the ocean, I can feel the emotions pulsing in the water. The ocean currents are like heartbeats. In a way, it’s similar to having a connection with someone else’s heart. I don't need to tame something that shouldn't be tamed in the first place. I just form a connection with it.” Kanan said confidently, as if it was the only thing she felt no doubt towards. When Kanan spoke about the ocean, it was as if she was sharing a part of her soul. The green waves that swirled around her seemed to shine even brighter to match the joy and happiness in her eyes. Dia felt lucky to see this side of her. “Being immersed in the water makes me feel at home.”

At the time, Dia wanted to remark that she was probably projecting her own emotions on an inanimate object, but Kanan looked so certain of her feelings that she almost allowed herself to believe her. It was hard to disprove someone who was more aware about their emotional affiliation than herself. Instead, she nodded and followed the other girl’s gaze across the stretch of dark water.

Even though she wanted to stay awake and continue the conversation, she felt her eyelids start to get heavier. Each blink lasted longer than the one before. After a few minutes, she heard a soft chuckle from her friend. 

“Alright, I’ll take that as my cue. Thanks for indulging my rambling tonight, Dia. Goodnight.” 

Before she knew what was happening, she felt the gentle push Dia wanted to tell her that she wasn’t sleepy. That she would gladly listen to her for hours more if it made her happy. There were so many other things that she wanted to see and experience with her, but all those thoughts were forgotten the moment her head hit the pillow. The last thing she saw was the moonlit outline of her friend as she rested her chin on her arms and stared out the window. 

She opened her eyes and 10 years had passed. Dia looked to her side. There weren’t any futons laid out. It wasn’t like she had expected anything else. No one, other than her sister, had slept over in years. She was no longer the little girl who giggled in secrecy or woke up in the middle of the night to stargaze, nor was she the same girl who could watch patiently in the background as the world turned around her.

Her dream was so vivid that she wanted to believe that it really was a part of her memories. However, she couldn’t deceive her own mind. Part of her knew; that could have been her reality, if she hadn’t turned over and told Kanan to go back to sleep. If only she could travel back and wake her younger self. So, that Kanan wouldn’t have had to enjoy the view on her own. Instead, all she had was the memory of her friend gazing out the window, alone, as her eyes closed. 

Against her logic, she wanted to believe that the dream was a sign from Kanan. After all, she still had a promise to keep. Sleep wasn't coming back to her that night, so she spent the rest of it packing. 

~~

As much as she did not want to admit it, spending the weekend at Ohara Hotel was less awkward and more fun than she had expected. The awkwardness lasted for roughly 20 minutes, before the heiress let out a groan and threw a pillow at her to break the silence. The velvet cushion hit its target, which stirred Dia’s competitive spirit and she launched her own counter-attack as Mari ran for cover. Soon, they ended up pelting one another with any cushion they could find, which led to grabbing hold of anything they could find. Dia finally won by creating a diversion and surprising Mari by flinging a blanket over her head, effectively trapping her as Dia slammed her with another pillow. The fight ended with the two of them breathless, lying on the floor, breaking out into giggles despite themselves. Dia found herself smiling genuinely for the first time in a while. Perhaps she had been too used to the dynamic when Kanan was around, and forgotten that in the midst of all the drama, Mari was her friend too. In a way, there was a possibility that they could help one another heal by learning how to be with one another again. 

It was Mari that started the conversation. Dia had been flipping through one of her books, enjoying the solitude and peace after the unsolicited war that happened earlier. The incessant typing on her computer halted and the blonde let out a gasp in realization. 

“I did it.” She announced, turning to Dia excitedly. 

“Did what?” 

“After weeks of trying to figure out a way to get into the system, I realized there was an easier way.” The other girl cleared her throat. “In any case, I found him; I found our doctor.”

“Mari-san, please tell me that you didn't bribe the hospital staff.” 

“Okay, I won’t.” Dia’s answering deadpan look triggered a mischievous gleam in Mari’s eyes. She sighed and conceded to the fact that it was better for her to not ask so many questions. Ever since the hospital’s brief statement explaining that the doctor in question was no longer in their service, and they were not at liberty to explain further, the pair had taken to searching the web for his current occupational location. The whole thing had been Mari’s idea, obviously. About 5 weeks after things had quietened down, and no other students had gone missing, her childhood friend had called her into the office for a “meeting”, which turned out to be an interrogation about the events which followed the funeral. Apparently, there was an application in place to seal the files after the initial investigation had concluded. The Matsuuras had left town shortly after, so any information relating to the incident and the identities of the parties involved was redacted. Mari suspected a cover-up operation, and despite her tendency to go too far with her theories, Dia found herself agreeing with her. 

The shadow creatures appearing, and the attacks growing in frequency, the events seemed too connected for her to believe that it was purely coincidental. 

She had gotten the name from old newspaper articles taken from the town archive. She had looked through 12 different publisher copies before she managed to find one that did not have the name of the medical examiner blacked out. It was to protect his identity, after the case had been closed and the evidence had gone into storage. “Are you sure it's even him?” 

“He listed being a medical examiner in Numazu as part of his job experiences in his resume.” Mari said triumphantly. Dia wanted to praise her, but she had to first verify that they had found the correct person. They had been crossing out names and addresses on their list for weeks. As it turned out, Kitazawa was not an uncommon name for doctors. Considering that the Matsuuras became uncontactable after they left town, and the town decided to act as if the entire incident never happened, they were left with little options.

“You stole his resume?!” 

“Calm down, Dia. His details were posted on his new clinic’s website, and it was traceable through social media, so technically it’s all public domain. Nothing is ever private these days.” Pursing her lips, Dia chose to ignore the anxious churning of her stomach as she leaned towards the screen to check the profile Mari pulled up. 

She scanned the page and noticed that the company website was based in Odawara, Kanagawa. At first, she was skeptical. However, she found it difficult to deny that changing his work address to a different prefecture explained why their initial searches brought up less than successful results. While she pondered over the possible options for them to pay the clinic a visit, it occurred to her that Mari had not moved or said anything since she had moved to lean over her shoulder. In fact, Dia wasn't even sure if the other girl was still breathing. She turned to her friend and was taken aback to hear a squeak of surprise before the other girl sharply veered back. 

“Mari-san…? Are…you okay?” She asked. Mari was turned away from her so she couldn't see much of her face when she nodded, but the tips of her ears were pink and her pieces of her soul seemed to revolve around her. Dia felt mesmerized for a second. She didn't normally stare at souls, but Mari’s velvet translucence seemed to shimmer and she couldn't look away. It wasn't unusual for Mari’s type of souls to move and react according to the emotions of the person, but this seemed more drastic than what she had seen from her previously. This time, she felt the warmth that emulated from her soul and it was almost as if Mari had somehow transferred a part of her warmth to her. Instead of feeling discomfort like she usually did, however, she felt calm. She briefly touched her own cheeks to confirm her theory, but removed her hands before the other girl turned back towards her. 

“I’m going to brush my teeth and get ready for bed.” 

There were still pink flushes that painted her cheeks, some of which mirrored the strange hombre of red and purple hues that Mari’s soul seemed to have temporarily adopted. It gave Dia a feeling she didn't like. Uncertainty. The only way she could rationalize her ability to see souls was when she could find links and classify situations in her head. This was… something she couldn't understand. Hence, Dia chose to ignore it and welcomed the change of subject. 

They spent the rest of the evening watching a movie, or rather, Dia tried to watch a movie while Mari sustained a stream of comments that rivaled live broadcasters. On the surface, it seemed like a sleepover between 2 childhood friends who were already used to each other. Yet, Dia couldn't shake the feeling that things were slowly changing, and it scared her. 

~~

The sound of pebbles crunching behind her disturbed the tranquility surrounding the girl. It contrasted to the lulling repetition of the waves crashing against the rocks below her. Dia turned, despite knowing that it was precisely the person who she was trying to avoid thinking about. 

“It’s been a while since we’ve done something like this, hasn’t it?” Dia nodded in agreement, expecting her to continue, but her friend seemed content to just appreciate the sight of the night sky and the ocean. The enthralled and wondrous look on her face brought back memories of a similar situation, which made her smile to herself. It seemed like she now had the answer to the question that her younger self had asked. 

Objectively speaking, Mari finding out that she had disappeared in the middle of the night and looking for her, wasn't that unexpected, considering what they had been through. However, it still warmed her heart to see the blonde’s nightdress fluttering in the wind as she awkwardly tried to find a seat for herself. For a second, she was reminded of herself, back when Kanan used to play tag with her on the hillside. She had been so hesitant about getting dirty because of how she had been brought up, but she eventually started enjoying it. Mari may have been more daring as a child, but she was still the heir to her father’s business, as was she. 

Dia wanted to tell her that waking up after midnight for random bouts of star gazing was something that Kanan used to do while they slept, but held her tongue. She wasn't here anymore. They both were; and she wouldn't put it past Mari to make this a regular recurrence for future sleepovers. 

“Mari-san, has it crossed your mind that this search may well be pointless?”

“Why would it be pointless?” 

“Since no matter what we find, it wouldn’t change anything about the situation.” 

“So, you’re saying you want to quit now? We’re so close to finding out the truth! Aren’t you curious as to whether there’s something more?” 

“I want to find something too. But I mean, we only have a few more months before we graduate. Your plans haven’t changed, right?”

“I’ll still be going overseas to study, yes. I’ve already been accepted into a university in Italy, where I can continue my education.” 

“I’ve decided to move to Tokyo for university.” Dia blurted out. 

“I see. Interesting location choice.” There was a heavy pause between her sentences. Mari hugged her knees to her chest and considered for a second. A melancholic shadow passed over her expression. “Is it because of what we talked about before? The three of us.”

“Yes and no.” Dia knew she had to word this properly, because a misunderstanding would not be desirable in this situation. She spoke slowly and allowed her thoughts to overtake her words. “I made a promise to Kanan, some time ago, and I’d like to keep it.” 

“It was her dream for us to live together in Tokyo. Do you remember?” Mari glanced at her before looking at the lights in the city far away. “We’d scrounge up whatever money we had and buy a small flat in the city. We’d have different jobs and schedules, so we would go out separately and do our own things.”

“But we’d always come back to one another at the end of the day.” Dia finished for her. “I remember.”

“It sounds like such a fairytale, now that I think about it.” 

“That doesn’t mean that it’s impossible.” 

“Ooh, Dia! This is such a role reversal.” Mari teased. “I like this new side of you.” 

She half shrugged in response. Dia remembered the day Kanan randomly brought up the topic of graduation. Her friend was lamenting over the fact that she wouldn’t have the opportunity to take pictures with Dia after her ceremony, and she would be spending the rest of her time waiting for Dia to visit her during holidays. In response, Dia had jokingly said that she wasn’t going anywhere and Kanan had sat up instantly. 

“No. You’re getting out of here. You can’t stay here, Dia.” The fierce determination in her voice had surprised her. Despite the numerous conversations that she held close to her heart, this particular conversation was a memory that Dia couldn’t forget. It was the first time that Kanan had acknowledged and openly spoken about her own death to Dia. Until that day, the two of them had danced around the topic like an elephant in a circus, because they needed time to come to terms with the trauma that had befallen them. 

“Your life is greater than this place. I lived and died here, with nothing in between. Those facts will not change, no matter what happens in the future. I don’t want you to follow me and leave this world without living your life fully.” 

“There’s nothing for me in Tokyo.” She didn’t have to mention Mari for Kanan to understand. 

“Then don’t go there. It doesn’t have to be Tokyo. You can go anywhere; do anything and be with anyone.” Dia’s head snapped towards her at the last portion of Kanan’s sentence. The latter shook her head before she could ask.

“Dia, you have to promise me.” Kanan said. Her eyes were stormy and dark. It reminded her of choppy tides that slapped the rocks in uneven waves. For a moment, she was reminded of the Kanan who had talked about the ocean and stars having emotions, and Dia felt like she had been right after all. “Promise me that you’ll move on and leave Uchiura after graduation. Live an amazing life, make friends, fall in love, find happiness and do everything you’ve dreamed of doing. You owe it to yourself to live. Then, you can tell me all about it when we see one another again.”

“I don’t make promises I can’t keep.”

“That’s why I want to hear you say it. Promise me, Dia.” 

Dia wavered. She knew all too well that once she agreed to something, her word was her honour. Part of her hated that Kanan was doing the same thing that she did to Mari, when she convinced her to accept the scholarship. The other part of her accepted it. Deep down, she understood why Kanan was forcing her into making this decision. Despite being less interested in her academics, she had always been more emotionally perceptive. Her best friend always put the needs of everyone else above her own. It was her way of showing people how much she cared, even if it caused a lot of tension at times. 

Kanan also knew that the reason why Dia was afraid to leave was because leaving meant that she may never see her again. It had taken a while for her to come to terms with the fact that Kanan would not let her go until she promised her that, but she eventually verbalized her agreement. 

She wondered if Kanan had always known that things would end up this way, with her and Mari discussing their futures while assessing whether they would still have a place in the other’s lives after they moved on. Part of her also knew all along what the changes in Mari’s soul meant, but she had chosen to deny it, out of respect for their friendship and Kanan’s memory. She had seen it a few times, people in love taking on aspects of one another’s souls, but it could not apply to her and Mari. 

“Dia, when you get a flat in Tokyo...” Mari sounded nervous. The tremor in her voice was evident, even as she allowed her sentence to trail off. 

“Yes?” Dia prompted. She turned towards the other girl to question her uncharacteristic hesitance, but she felt her own face heat up at the sight. Mari was blushing. Maybe it was a result of the preceding events, that she could still feel the warmth from Mari’s soul. Perhaps that could have affected her view of the girl. Either way, she looked... really cute. 

“Make sure it’s big enough for two, okay?” The words came tumbling out of Mari’s lips in a rush, but Dia caught the gist of it. She shifted herself to face away from the blonde, preventing her smile from getting noticed. She knew how it sounded, and while she didn't quite know how she felt about her, it still made her feel ridiculously happy to hear the words.

“I understand.” Despite her hesitance, she swallowed her fear and touched the top of the other girl’s hand lying beside her. Thankfully, the other girl reacted instantly, as if it was the sign she had been waiting for. Mari flipped her hand palm up so that their fingers could clasp on to one another. There wasn't a spark of electricity, or at least, it didn't feel like something she had imagined. She could feel Mari’s rapid heartbeat even though they weren’t looking at one another. Dia didn't need to see her to know that parts of Mari’s aura had blossomed into vibrant red patterns which stood out against the lavender adorning her soul. It still bothered her, not knowing what it all meant. Being unable to see her own soul was also something that unsettled her. Perhaps she would figure it out in future, or perhaps it would forever remain a mystery. Either way, she drew comfort from their joined hands and allowed herself to be at peace from that. 

A stray thought lingered in her mind, pondering about if this was considered betrayal; whether Kanan would have been upset at this development. The stronger part of her, however, the part that knew her childhood friend better than she dared to admit, couldn’t shake the feeling that this was exactly what Kanan had planned. 

~~ 

It took 3 hours to get them to Odawara; half an hour of travel and two and a half hours of convincing Dia to do so. The student council president finally agreed to postpone her duties for a day, on the condition that they come back during the weekend to go through their administrative documents and carry out their weekly meeting on the train. 

It took them some time to find the address copied from the website, written on a scrap piece of paper, but they eventually found the small clinic tucked away in the suburbs. 

The waiting room in the clinic was more crowded than they anticipated. The air conditioner seemed to be blasting out of a vent, but there weren’t many other options in the seating area. They went to the counter and stated their reasons for being there. A phone call and a few hushed words to the person on the other line, presumably the doctor, later, the two girls were directed to wait. Mari sat down first; Dia followed her silently. She felt cold. It was odd, since it wasn’t a particularly chilly day. However, her blood seemed to be stagnant. 

After a while, the waiting room emptied out. A few customers trickled in, most of them elderly patients who whispered and pointed but kept their distance from them. The two girls waited. Dia had entertained herself with watching the people who filed through the room, their souls and their expressions, as they entered and left the premises. The weight on her shoulder had stopped bothering her after a while. Mari had fallen asleep soon after her phone had run out of battery. The sun light burned into blazing orange hues before turning into a dim shade. 

Their names were not called. Instead, a middle-aged man stepped out of the office and spotted them sitting in the corner of the room. Dia read his name tag and sat up straighter. It was him. The doctor from the website. She nudged Mari awake, and they rose to follow him into the white walled office. 

As they sat down across from him, Dia looked straight at the man in front of her. His soul was dimly colored, and she saw what looked to be an older version of him, looming over the man. He was living in the shadow of someone else, likely an older relative or someone he looked up to, Dia figured. He regarded them wearily, and there was a pregnant silence which draped over the room as the doctor shifted some of his files and placed them into neat stacks at the corner of his desk. He was also likely to compartmentalize as a means to remain detached from his line of work, Dia added to her mental notes. 

“I heard that you've been looking for me.” The man spoke with a calm and soft voice. It reminded Dia of how psychiatrists and counselors spoke to people after they had gone through traumatic experiences. It made her skin crawl, just a bit. 

“Yes sir. We’re very sorry to trouble you, but this information is very important to us.” Mari answered, on behalf of both girls. She spoke with distinct and formal Japanese, and her usual Italian accent almost completely disappeared. She sounded so unlike herself that Dia nearly questioned the words that she was hearing. “You're the only person who can help us find out the truth of what happened to our friend. Hence, anything you can remember about this case would be invaluable to us.” 

Instead of looking at Mari, the doctor’s gaze seemed to linger on Dia. His eyes widened perceptively after a few seconds. When he spoke, it was directed to her. This time, his voice carried unresolved emotions and Dia felt as if she suddenly had more information to digest. “It’s you, isn’t it? Something about you is different, but I remember you from that day.” 

“Me?” Dia asked, trying to recall the circumstances. 

“It’s not surprising that you don't remember. You were clinging to your father when you came into the examination room. I didn't approve of a child identifying the body, but you went towards her anyway.” The sadness was evident in his eyes as he recounted the worst day of Dia’s life. “I covered your eyes and your father led you out of the room.”

Throughout his speech, Dia nodded emotionlessly, while Mari heard everything for the first time. He finally turned towards the blonde girl. 

“Ohara-san, I am not allowed, in my official capacity, to release any patient files due to doctor-patient confidentiality. However, I have also been directed to take a smoke break, even though I do not smoke.” The doctor paused to give them a short look of understanding before he stood up. He glanced at the clock on the wall. “You have 20 minutes. I hope you find what you've been looking for.” 

They began their search as soon as the door closed. Thankfully for them, the folders were labeled by date. The file labeled “Matsuura” was so thin that they almost missed it. 

The medical report was short and to the point. The immediate cause of death was water in her lungs, which deprived her of oxygen. The muscles in her calves were also taut, which indicated that she could have suffered from a cramp, leading to the possibility of her ability to swim being compromised. The amount of water in her lungs also suggested that she had attempted to breathe a few times despite the pain. On paper, it seemed like a routine case of a swimmer drowning due to the undercurrent. However, this was Kanan. She was an exceptional swimmer and extraordinary person, the thought of her death being so ordinary made her feel empty. It made her search harder for any abnormalities.

There was a special note that her body had been found by fishermen from her father’s company, although she didn't find that particularly unusual. However, the Kurosawa name had been highlighted, which made her rethink her previous statement. Her family owned one of the biggest fishing management companies in the region and the likelihood of one of their boats discovering the body seemed high enough for her to not have given it much thought after the funeral. 

Dia scanned through the autopsy notes again and she reached the second page before she noticed something odd that made the rest of the facts make sense. For some reason, her body was found further out to sea than she usually swam. She also appeared to be swimming away from the shore, which made it look like she was deliberately putting herself in a dangerous position. It suddenly hit her. The reason for the secrecy and why the file had been sealed. The hospital policy was that suicide cases had to be sealed up to protect the privacy of the victims and their families. With a town such as Numazu and the involvement of the Kurosawa name, it made sense that the families did not want any information to be leaked to the public. 

There was a tap on the door to signal that they were reaching the end of their allocated time. Dia sat back in silent defeat while Mari made copies of the medical report.

If her death really had just been due to drowning, then everything she had tried to fight for, was for nothing. She was powerless, as much as the thought nauseated her. Despite having supernatural abilities, death was something that no one had control over. 

\--- 

“You know, you never told me your reason for wanting to find the medical report.”

“Maybe some part of me was hoping to find a supernatural cause that linked her death to the shadows, then I could do something about it. That’s all moot now, though. She died in a devastatingly non-supernatural way.”

“Even if it was, we can’t bring her back.” Mari stated kindly. “All the effort we’ve put in over the past few days, it was all done so that we could find the truth. Instead, I guess we were both searching for what we hoped was the truth.”

“The difference between us, is that I could have done something about it.” 

“What do you-“ Instead of replying her with words, Dia lifted her phone into Mari’s line of sight. The other girl looked towards the screen, which depicted a series of answered calls, until one came up in red. She looked at the time stamp of the voicemail notification and met Dia’s gaze once more. 

“When was this?” She asked softly. 

“The night before she… before she disappeared.” Dia answered. Her hand was trembling slightly and she had to tell herself to calm down. This was the first time she was admitting any of this out loud. “She called, and I didn't pick up. I was tired and it was 4am. I let my best friend go to voicemail, because I assumed that it wasn't important and we could talk about it later on in the day.” 

“Have you listened to it?”

“I couldn't…I still can’t.” She felt her voice crack on the last word but Mari had engulfed her in a hug before she could finish her sentence. Stunned by the initiated contact, she froze in place. 

“You don't have to. Not now, at least.” Mari said after a long while. She pulled back from the brunette, just enough to look at her, and for a second Dia felt like the stars were no longer in the sky but reflected in the soul in front of her. 

“She always took care of me, Kanan, I mean. While growing up, she was the person I relied on the most.” She sounded pensive, as if she was afraid to offend Dia with her words. Dia remained silent, prompting her to continue. 

The blonde shifted her weight and spoke her next few words slowly but firmly. “I know that it was the same for you. So, I hope to be someone that you can rely on, and in future, maybe you will feel that you can rely on me too. I won’t give up on you.”

For a moment, Dia didn't know what to make of that statement. She knew how serious Mari was, because of what she said when the blonde had first asked her to be her partner. Her first instinct was to deny that she needed help from anyone, because she didn't. She had always been self-reliant. Yet, the image of her best friend haunted her. Not the girl whom she had seen, lying still and pale on the metal slab; nor was it the girl whom she chased along the beach, pretending not to notice the lack of footprints she left behind. 

Instead, she remembered the girl who shook her awake at night to talk about the stars and the ocean. The girl who spent one night comforting her after the first time she witnessed a shadow consume a person on the train. The same girl who managed to convince her, 7 years later, to move to Tokyo and share an apartment with her and Mari. That was the Kanan she knew and remembered. It was also the Kanan that she had failed. The thought of doing the same to Mari made the ache in her chest grow into a pit that threatened to consume her. Cutting through the doubt and anxiety that consumed her thoughts, she allowed herself to relax into the warmth that radiated from the other girl.

As she lifted her arms around Mari to return the embrace, she wondered if the colour of her own soul had something to do with the way Mari’s soul had evolved recently. Perhaps this was a mystery that she didn't mind waiting to solve. 

~~

“Dia...” She scrunched her eyes shut. She was tired and just wanted to sleep a bit more.

“Dia, you need to wake up now.”

“Dia! Wake up!” The voice became more persistent. She could hear an element of urgency, or was it fear? “Open your eyes!”

Whatever it was, the urgency and desperation convinced her to obey the command. She opened her eyes and was met with complete darkness. Despite trying to locate the source of the voice, there was nobody around her. As far as she knew, she was alone.

It was difficult to make out her surroundings, but she was floating in the middle of a vast space. Her vision was murky but she could sense that there was nothing around her. She could feel the emptiness and it was killing her. She tried to rotate herself but moving was difficult. Any movement was in slow motion. She felt like her lungs were going to explode. Her body was not responding. She tried to force herself to move; to do something. However, her limbs felt stiff and weighed down. She could feel her heart racing as her body clenched in agony. Her nose and chest were burning. Why couldn’t she breathe?

Her throat was getting tighter. She wanted to scream but she couldn't open her mouth. Her hands reached out in random directions on their own accord, but she couldn’t see the end of her arms after she extended them. It was like shooting arrows blindly, and praying that they hit a target. She felt numb and cold, but nothing else. It was like something was enveloping her skin, but it wasn’t sticky. It was just... all over. It seemed to have a mind of its own.

It hit her.

She was underwater.

Suddenly, something hit the side of her ankle. She looked down and strained her eyes to peer into the depths below. As if she had been waiting for her, Dia was met with the cold and lifeless stare of her best friend. She wasn’t moving. There was no struggle or any sign of pain within her expression. Kanan was simply floating, like her. To some extent, she even looked peaceful. She was wearing her diving suit, the same one they found her in. Her hand was stretched out towards the surface, as if she was pleading for the universe to pull her to safety.

She didn’t know what came over her, but she found herself reaching towards her body. Perhaps it was morbid curiosity, but she wanted to feel some sort of connection, even if she was dead. Before her hand could touch her face, a hand latched onto her ankle. Stunned, she looked down and realised that to her horror, she was surrounded by darkness. Another hand grabbed onto hers and she glanced up to find that the thing that she had mistaken for Kanan, had turned into a shadow, and was swimming towards her at a rapid pace. Despite the chill that crept up her spine at the sight, she couldn't turn away. 

She didn’t care if breathing would cause her to drown. She opened her mouth and screamed as the shadow form melded itself against her body. Her skin burned and tingled as if trying to resist the intrusion, but eventually it faded into static. In a quick motion, she forced her eyes open. 

She watched the ocean take its form around her. Suddenly, her skin didn’t feel like her own. The hair that was suspended around her like a web of seaweed didn’t belong to her either. She confirmed her suspicions when she recognised the diving suit clinging to her body. It was the chill air that she noticed first. Her legs were barely treading water fast enough to keep her position. Then, the sharp pain in her calf muscle jolted her into awareness of how far out she, or rather, Kanan, was. The shore was nowhere in sight. It felt as though someone had rammed an ice pick into her leg, and was twisting it such that the nerves were being sliced up with every move she made. Still, Kanan fought. Dia could feel the effort and energy going into keeping afloat as she frantically searched for a sign of land. Each time the current pulled her under, Dia noticed that the length of time it took for her to get back to the surface increased. 

There was a sharp jerk as something caught her eye.

The beginnings of yellow peeked over the horizon. A small beam that cut through the navy sky and dark ocean around her. In an instant, she knew what Kanan had thought. With whatever strength she had, she propelled herself towards what she thought was the Uchiura shoreline. 

Dia couldn’t breathe. Her lungs were already reaching their capacity and her strength was giving out. As much as she wanted to give all her strength towards bringing Kanan home, she knew the truth. 

There was a reason why it had to have been one of Kurosawa’s fishing boats that found her. Traditionally, fishermen used torches to attract specific types of fish during the appropriate seasons. However, due to the advancement of technology, their company required fishing lights to be installed on every boat. Fishing lights with a colour that matched the one which Kanan saw as the edges of her vision gave out. 

The last thing she could see was a glowing dolphin beneath her, lifting her up and she felt the floating sensation once more, before everything dissipated into black smoke that wisped around her harmlessly. For a split second, she felt peace. It felt like she was being held in suspension between a drop and the ocean; and then time started again.

The next moment rendered her helpless as she felt trapped in body that was locked into deadweight. Every fibre of her body seemed to be asleep despite her attempts to wake herself up. Her limbs had gone numb, as if a thousand tiny needles took the form of pinpricks against her skin. She fought blindly against her own body that seemed to be compressing her. She finally let out a strangled gasp in relief as she forced her body up from her resting position. Her lungs were struggling to take in oxygen and she could feel each painful beat of her heart as if she was still in someone else’s body. 

The first sensation she registered was a burning pain between her ribs. She placed her palm against her chest. It was still beating rapidly and her forehead was speckled with beads of cold sweat. Her cheeks were wet too. It seemed like she had been crying in her sleep because her eyelids hurt when she blinked. She had to count the seconds in between her ragged breaths but at least she was breathing. She was alive. It was a nightmare; a terribly vivid one, but a dream nonetheless.

As she tried to catch her breath, she calmed herself by focusing on her surroundings. The room was doused in shadow, but she could tell that she wasn’t in her own room. There were papers scattered over the table, along with stationary and notebooks which had scribbles of notes and theories that she didn’t want to read. She was half lying on the sofa. There was extra weight on her middle, which prevented her from moving. She looked down to see a mess of blonde hair spread over her abdomen. It was an odd position since Mari was partially sprawled over her, but having the other girl’s arms wrapped around her felt less restrictive than she had expected. Despite drawing comfort from that in her waking moments, their positions explained why she was unable to move in her dream. She glanced around her and noticed the pile of things that were awaiting their clean-up. 

Then, she remembered. After much convincing, or at least she would like to think that she had made the heiress work for it, Dia had slept over at Mari’s house instead of going home. They must have fallen asleep some time after midnight, because much of the night was spent discussing and trying to decipher any hidden anomalies in the report. She looked around her. There was another couch and sufficient blankets, so there wasn’t any real need for them to be huddled together. Yet, she didn’t make any move to separate herself from the other girl. She would never admit it out loud, but having Mari with her helped her to remember that this was reality and she was safe. 

Gazing down at the sleeping girl beside her, she allowed herself to smile fondly. Mari looked like a princess from one of those fairytale books that they used to read as children. She had always been jealous of Mari’s long blonde hair. It wasn't her fault that most of the princesses in books were described as thin beauties, with trademark blonde locks. Her sleeping expression was serene, and it made her seem younger and more innocent. Looking at her like this, Dia temporarily forgot the tears, pain and horrors that they had experienced. All she wanted to do was keep her safe. 

Mari once mentioned off-handedly that she had encountered Kanan in her dreams. Dia didn’t know what she normally dreamt of, but she hoped that being together helped Mari as much as it helped her. Just then, the blonde girl squeezed her eyes shut and started shifting about uncomfortably. Dia gently lifted her to a more comfortable position before stroking her hair. She used to do that whenever Ruby had a nightmare, and it usually helped her go back to sleep. Back when they were younger, although she had teased her for it, Mari used to let Dia practice her braiding skills on her. She was surprised that her hair was just as soft as she remembered. However, the Mari she thought of as a cute but annoying princess back then, had grown into a beautiful and strong woman. Someone to be admired and loved, but Dia quickly caught herself before she ventured into that territory. That was definitely out of the question. They had been friends for so long that she felt reluctant to let herself get hurt by the possibility of losing her again. 

“Mm Dia...” Immediately, the brunette raised her hands away from her hair, as if proclaiming her innocence. Instead of moving away, the other girl shifted towards her and buried her face into her ribs. Dia had initially thought of moving Mari to the other sofa or to her bed, so that she would be more comfortable. However, moving did not look like something she seemed very inclined to do. She brushed Mari’s messy fringe away from her eyes. It was to ensure that her skin wouldn’t suffer from breakouts in the morning, she told herself. It wasn’t because she liked feeling the silkiness of her hair as she ran her fingers through it. 

She continued to stroke her hair absentmindedly as she allowed Mari’s steady breaths to calm her. It seemed like an eternity before she found her eyes closing. This time, she had no dreams. 

The next time she opened her eyes, the sun had just peeked over the blue horizon. She looked down at the blonde who was still curled up against her. Their positions hadn’t shifted much during the night, but their hands were now interlocked. Dia felt the flush in her cheeks, but wasn't sure if it was from the cold or from where their hands were. 

Mari had tucked their joined hands against her chest. She briefly wondered which one them made the first move, before deciding that it didn’t really matter. The only sound that she needed to focus on was Mari’s heartbeat, which resounded against her hand. For those few moments, nothing else existed. There was no magic, no souls, no shadows, no death or school problems for her to solve. Everything that mattered in the world could be summed up to their beating hearts. Dia counted the beats until their heartbeats were almost in sync. If this was the meaning of ‘nothingness’ that Hanamaru kept rambling about, she would be perfectly content with simply being and existing like this. She stoked her hand lightly as she waited for the sleeping girl to wake up. Unbeknownst to her, a small smile slowly appeared on Mari’s face. 

Meanwhile, the golden rays gradually forged a bridge from the navy sky to the wispy clouds dancing above them, bringing with them the dawn of a new day. 

~~~ 

“Are you sure about this?” 

“It’s been 5 years, Mari. It’s time.” 

“Okay, take your time. I’m here for you if you need me.”

“I know.”

The blonde was sitting next to her on the beach. Her white heels were lying in the sand beside them as they took in their surroundings. The town looked almost as if their lives had been a dream, and they were still in high school. Yet, all it took was one look at one another and time became reality. They were close enough for her to feel Mari’s arm brush her side whenever she moved. Their hands weren’t actually touching, but it was good enough for Dia. Mari’s warmth was an ever present constant and she wouldn't have had it any other way. She had someone who could challenge and push her to reach her potential, but also ground her and pull her back to the surface when she was overwhelmed. She still saw an empty space when she looked at her reflection, but her heart didn't feel empty like it used to.  
Rising to her feet, she took a few steps towards the end of the coastline. The sun glared at her exposed skin from above and she stared at the blue waves, like she had done so countless times over the years. She gathered herself before she spoke. 

“Kanan-san, I’m home. I came back to see you; and I’m living my life away from here, as promised.” She paused, the photo fluttering lightly in her hand. It was worn from the years of being left in her wallet, but it showed no sign of falling apart. “I wanted to say, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not picking up your call that night, and I’m sorry for not being strong enough to listen to your message either.” 

The sudden gust of wind took her by surprise and she found herself being moved a few feet forward. She closed her eyes, tightening her grip on the photograph. In doing so, she nearly missed the answering words that were spoken by a voice that she had almost forgotten. 

“But you did pick up. You always did; be it the day before, the week before, or even the months and years before. You’ve picked up so many times. Missing one call doesn't change that. There’s never been anything to blame yourself for.” She didn't want to open her eyes, not when in her mind, she could see her best friend traipsing along the shore in front of her. However, the ache in her chest had dissipated. She opened her eyes. 

She took a breath; and clicked on the tab to play the voice message. 

“Dia! Aw, you didn't answer... It’s okay, you’re probably not free right now. I just wanted to tell you that I finished my work, finally! Aren’t you proud of me? Hahaha! I’m going to head off first, okay? Don’t wait for me. I’ll see you later!” 

She felt a tear trickle down her cheek at the beep which signaled the end of the message, stopping only on the edge of her lips as she broke into a smile. She stared out across the ocean, focusing on the line of light where navy blue met azure. 

See you later.

~

"I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world....”

**Author's Note:**

> It has really been a while since I posted something here. I thought I might as well make my comeback with a sequel that I had promised to write. So, thank you for reading this pile of words that I miraculously found the courage to post. Funny story: I found my old plots and decided to write this, completely forgetting that I had already written parts of this story 6 months ago. Thankfully, I realised in time, and combined both works to form parts of the outline which I then straightened up and fleshed out. I also changed my original ending because after I thought it through again, I realised the direction became too depressing and I wanted these characters to have something hopeful to hold on to at the end of the story. After all, I started with the struggle to come to terms with grief and I wanted to end with the realisation that it's okay to move on. 
> 
> Anyway, this marks the end of the main DiaMari + Kanan plot line. If I write more, it'll be less angsty and more focused on the interactions and developments with the other characters. When I planned this story, I actually wrote out detailed origin stories and backgrounds of every character, so although most of them only play supporting roles at the moment, there is a reason behind everything that they are described to be and the things they say or do.


End file.
